If you are visiting this section of our site because your child has experienced the loss of one or more of his or her twins or higher multiples – your grandchildren – we are very sorry. You are having to suffer the loss of a baby or babies who was precious to you, and at the same time see your own child in pain and sorrow. If you are here because you are the parent who experienced a multiple birth loss and you are relating to the responses and needs of your own parents, the babies’ grandparents, we are very sorry and hope that this section will be helpful to you also. You are welcome to join our ongoing mailing list, and our parent contact list, which includes grandparents.
In the section, we hope to focus especially on the “twin” and multiple aspects of this loss situation. There are a number of excellent books on pregnancy and infant loss in general which include the grief of grandparents, such as A Silent Sorrow (Kohn & Moffitt, 2nd ed., Routledge, 2000) and Empty Cradle, Broken Heart (Davis, 2nd ed., Fulcrum, 1995) (see also www.centeringcorporation.org for a variety of resources) and are well worth reading. What we will talk about here are the complications, the sorrows and sometimes the joys, the potential confusions, and the special needs that come with this pregnancy and birth having been “the babies”, instead of “the baby”.
We’ll start with a general article about what seems to be helpful or not, thinking of everything that has come up here over the years. Then in the near future we will be adding some additional links on topics such as: relating to others in the family… including the baby(s) in the family in an ongoing way…what if there are other multiples in the family…parents relating to a (grand)parent who doesn’t “get it”…relating to other grandparents…and more, including some poems and personal stories. Your comments, input, suggestions and experiences are very welcome. This section is written from the point of view of loss in pregnancy, at birth and or early infancy but also much of it is also relevant to the loss of a multiple as a toddler or in childhood.