BITTERSWEET… A Tribute to Three

Do you know what the word “bittersweet” implies? I never did, nor did I even care, until a day in June of 1986. However after that day I began to reflect on the dual meaning of “bittersweet”. Bitter is when a couple is ready and looking forward to having a baby but have difficulty and yet some runny-nose teenager who has only one thought in mind, does. And you hear about kids being beaten and parents selling their children for drug money, and you say, “Where is the justice?” Sweet is when finally after years of tests, and frustrations, and trips to doctors offices you are told, “Yes, you are going to have twins!” You go out and buy things for the nursery you have just built into your home, and you spend hours debating just the right names. Bitter are the months of anticipation, preparation and good wishes ruined by the biggest frustration; a tragedy – a stillborn – in addition to hearing, “At least you got one.”

Sweet is the survivor, and all the things she means to me and the thoughts she brings to mind about her brother. Bitter are the holidays, birthdays, the special times like the first steps, and wondering what it would have been like watching two of them. Sweet is the private moments between dad and daughter…when she recognizes you, her greeting when you come through the door at night, the special time when dad puts her to bed, her head resting on your shoulder just under your chin. She looks up at you with those baby blue eyes that seem to say, “OK, dad, it’s time to put me into my crib.” Bitter is wondering; wondering, what next! But sweet is saying, have faith. Sweet is having Eryn and Lynn around.

As you can see, I have my own definition of bittersweet. I hope your only knowledge of bittersweet is from the dictionary meaning – a kind of candy.