Owen & Spencer

My husband Steve wrote this for a contest a musician (Michael Tomlinson) was having. Michael gave several topics to write about and we chose to write about Owen & Spencer. The winner received a private concert in their home, and we won!! So, in late April we will be having a wonderful musician, whose work we love, come sing in our home for us and some friends. I know Owen & Spencer will be listening and happy that such a sad story could bring a tiny bit of happiness to their parents.

It has been just over a year since our newborn twin boys died. If they had arrived just a week or two later, they could have made it. Still, they were so strong, such fighters.

As premies, they didn’t have the baby fat to disguise their features. They looked fit, with the features of 10-year-olds. We could see what they would have looked like when they grew up. Little Spencer would have looked just like Wendy, and Owen just like me.

Spencer died first, his fragile lungs unable to hold oxygen. When the end was near, the nurse unhooked all the unnatural tubes and monitors and let us do the most natural thing. We held him. We cradled him. We rocked him in his last few moments and sang lullabies through our tears.

After he was gone, we held him for another two hours. That entire time, he was the lead in the school play, he was the captain of the football team, he was the valedictorian. He was our son and we couldn’t have been more proud.

We might have collapsed completely, but our Owen, still fighting, still needed us. Among all the anguish, our hearts ached that Owen would never know his twin brother. The next day, Owen went to be with his brother.

In the year since, we have struggled with the loss. We have only recently grasped that we can never understand it. But we can live with it.

And when I need a smile, a memory that is indelible and tangible, I only need to think about holding my sons and singing the soft tones of love that connect us even now.

Wendy is pregnant again, this time with one child. Life goes on. Owen and Spencer wouldn’t have it any other way.

~Wendy and Steve