Interview…the loss of a quadruplet

1. Your name and some details about your twin or higher multiple baby(s) who died, and other children (if any, living or previous losses)… Jen. Lost one quadruplet in-utero 20 weeks (6/97), delivered stillborn 10-16-97 (35 weeks). Possible medical malpractice.

2. When I remember my baby(s), I… get very sad, angry and emotional, depressed.

3. The worst part is … seeing her lifeless body via ultrasound at 19 weeks gestation, it seems like yesterday.

4. I have coped with anger by… spreading the word that the doctor we feel caused this loss is horrible.

5. I still have problems with… -finding support for specific topics of interest, –people calling the babies triplets!

6. I have learned that… –people do grieve at some point eventually, –a loss is a loss no matter how great or small

7. I no longer think that… multiple births are easy to maintain. People are not invincible.

8. I remember when… we picked up her ashes and made her a shrine in our room.

9. My partner (if any) and I feel close when… – we have an open-ended conversations, –hug and support each other

10. The best times to remember my baby(s) are… When I think of her ultrasounds when she was alive.

11. The worst times to remember my baby(s) are… –holidays, special occasions with the children living, –viewing her body and her ashes, –when others refer to my multiples as triplets.

12. Sometimes I wish… –life wasn’t so unfair, –more specialized perinatologists existed for the care and management of higher-order multiple births

13. When I could handle it again, I did… –joined back with CLIMB, –sought support

14. If I could choose whether or not to have twins again (or triplets or more etc. .again)… I would opt NO WAY! Too many risks, too many injustices.

Jen