Adam & Matthew (poems)

We had them only 31 weeks, but in that time, they accomplished much.
They showed me what it feels like to be a daddy. It’s wonderful.

We protected them and did all we could.
We went to see them often. They had a wonderful life.

I wish it could have lasted longer.

Now I have a better idea, how much my father cared about me.
It’s hard to even comprehend, how their mother feels.

I hope she knows how much I love her.

If my mother cares as much about me as Merrill did for Adam & Matthew,
Then I truly am a lucky man.

They must be up in heaven, because we are definitely in hell.

When we have another baby, part of us will be in heaven,
But we will never forget our baby twin boys,
Adam and Matthew.

(Adam & Matthew)

They were the most perfect babies in the world, perfect in every way.

They had perfect identical noses, sweet little perfect lips, blue eyes, pink skin, soft hair, & perfect fingers and toes.

Every feature was perfect, even their tiny little fingernails.

Our perfect little babies were so beautiful, they looked as if they were alive.

But they’ll never open up their eyes; they’ll never see our face.

They’ll never laugh & they’ll never cry, they’ll never say a word.

They’ll never know the pain we feel, inside our broken hearts.

Our perfect little babies will stay just the way they are.


They were supposed to go to school, and do what little boys do.

Like learn to ride a bicycle and fall and scrape their knee.

They were supposed to see the sunshine, and laugh and cry and learn.

They were supposed to see their mother’s face, and grow strong and become men.

They were supposed to come home with us, to be nurtured, loved and cherished.

They were supposed to be our babies, and they are and they always will be.


Adam and Matthew are the beloved identical sons of Barry his wife Merrill, their first children at 40 after their first IVF. They were big and healthy, and died of monoamniotic cord entanglement a few weeks before their scheduled delivery.